sick sunday

i had a headache for the past couple days now. usually when i get one, it means there's something wrong with my alimentary canal/digestive tract, and i usually end up throwing up somewhere in the course of things.

it's so funny. as soon as i get a headache, i try to follow it musculoskeletally. facial muscles, neck muscles (sternocleidomastoid, for example) can refer pain to the head. also, jaw muscles (tmj). i know that there is something imbalanced about my jaw; it all started one day when my karate teacher did a back kick into my jaw during one of our last times sparring. ever since, the left side of my jaw clicks out of joint when i yawn too wide, and i sometimes have to forcibly push it back in. i've since translated this to mean that my left masseter and lateral pterygoids are relatively too loose, and thus the right masseter and lateral pterygoids are too tight. trouble is, to get to them, i've got to work inside my mouth (very drooly). and the pain referral i've felt in working on them has primarily been inside the mouth, towards my rear molars. no direct relation to the headache area (which is ALWAYS above the right eye, in GB 14 territory to those of you who know acupuncture points).

the musculoskeletal route, that's a more or less clear pathway for me. it's how i tend to analyze most pain problems, at least initially. for one thing, if you DO find a trigger point related to the pain, it provides pretty instant confirmation for you AND your patient ("i touch here and you go ouch"). trouble is, there are problems that have both a musculoskeletal component and an "internal imbalance" (again, for me, digestive issues). you can't solve the headache merely by treating the branch symptoms.

... but in any case, the headache turned this weekend pretty s**ty. even if i took time off this sunday to accommodate mother's day, i was a pretty crappy father and husband. all bitter and bitchy. i mean, i did my duties, but not with (quite frankly) the sincerity that i would have liked. and this afternoon/evening, i was not really giving the attention that aiden (also sick) was due. he was actually going through an apparently energetic phase, being all cute, building little cities out of blocks, talking up a storm. but i was kind of groggy and headachey and nauseous, so i would participate in a conversation with him for like maybe two sentences, and then pass out. now that i feel a bit more stable, it's aiden's turn to sleep. with any luck, he'll sleep until tomorrow, and recover fully from this damnable whatever-it-is.

i regret not doing more for my wife. in fact, i got into a little "tiff" (sounds so snobby, that word) with her. i was supposed to buy chopped olives (2 cans) so she could make this 7 layer dip. when i went to star market with a delirious willow in tow (again, headache-y and kinda out of it), there was this other dude with two kids in tow in the spaghetti aisle (i sympathized). he was having a hard time of it, and he wouldn't move away from the olives, even when i was trying to sidle in to take a closer look at the shelves. so when i saw "sliced olives," i just grabbed two cans. getting back home, i learn that lynn specifically wanted "chopped olives." i asked, "what's the diff?" lynn said: "in the time it would have taken you to ask that guy to move so you could have found the right can, you would have saved me a whole lot of effort." again, i was kinda bitchy, so i made some snide remark about how retarded i was (what a cop out, eh, when you can't win an argument, wound YOURSELF even more so the other party feels like a scumbag. jeez, what an asshole i am!!!) lynn, of course, played the mature ameliorator a little while after. (can you believe it!? it's mother's day, and pull that kind of crap!!! and she was making this special 7 layer dip for MY family's thing. gods, i hate myself. i HATE myself).

well. blame it on a headache, on nausea, whatever. but i've got some making up to do.