no solicitors please!

you know what i hate? solicitation!

the other day, like one of the few days where i had open time where i could just sit down and do some serious writing, well, i headed over to the nearby starbucks over at waikele, ordered a venti mocha no whip frappucino, and just sat at an outlet to try to type away. i'm about halfway through one sentence when this old man who's sitting across from me asks if i'm a student. out of politeness, i say no. that of course begs the question, what am i doing there, sitting and typing so seriously? and then, somewhat reluctantly, i tell my whole life story. what? you're an acupuncturist? what? you're 36? you look so young! i'll admit, i'm a sucker for such one-sided conversations, because it makes me believe for a moment that i'm interesting enough that a complete stranger would talk to me straight out of the blue (ha, if only that ever happened when i was single and the stranger was just my type: female hetero).

after about five minutes or so, i'm fiddling with the power cord with one hand, and my face feels like it's starting to cramp from smiling so much. politeness is one thing, but i've got some work to do! and just when i think it's about to end, the guy drops the bomb: "listen, you're such a nice guy, i'd like to tell you about something i've just discovered..." jeez, they must write a script for this kind of thing! no matter what it is they are trying to tell you, as soon as they mention how nice you are, you're IN FOR IT! it could be a pyramid scheme (no, it's not a pyramid scheme! not technically, anyway), or healthy water (which this was), or religion... it's all the same. the script runs on after that, and while you're still reeling in disbelief, all the early exits get passed, and you're in for one long and tedious ride... struggling to negotiate alternative transportation options to get off and get back to where you were before, just innocently sitting there...

i hate it!!! and for some reason, i'm such a target! and besides, it seems like starbucks and other "innocent hangouts" are prime hunting grounds for these sales-hungry bastards...

what i hate about solicitation is the desperate energy that's fueling it. i mean, honestly, neither party REALLY wants to be there. neither party is REALLY interested. but because one party (the salesperson) NEEDS to make the pitch, well, once it starts, it's like it has to play out.

i feel sorry for dudes like that. i mean, i want to help, but gods, man, if you'd just told me your sorry situation, i'd be half more willing to help you out than if you try to sucker me in with insincere attentions... i feel like you just wanted me for my money (truth).

but honestly: if i really wanted something, i'd have searched for it on the internet, sought it out and bought it. or i'd have heard about it. something. the day and age when "secret" and "privileged" info that just might save my life is passed on by old dudes in coffeeshops... well, if it even ever was, it now particularly isn't.