so my 9:30 was a no show. i used the extra time to check out my aquaponics plants. for some reason, although initial growth was strong, there has been a drop off. now, i notice certain leaves of certain plants are paling. i know that some of it may be because there hasn't been a regular ebb and flow cycle with the plants, due to clogs in the stand pipes, etc. i try to monitor that as much as i can. but i guess some other things could be low nitrate, for some reason. i also am aware of other nutrients that may not be present in my aquaponics systems. i was thinking, for example, of getting phosphorus stones, or of supplementing with fertilizer. i know that one aquaponics lady recommended supplementing with chelated iron, which i never did. but i think i will try to write something about all possible deficiencies, as well as all possible pests, from my perspective. i have already had to contend with powdered mildew on my cucumber plant. i used neem oil, sprayed it on all the places where i could see the telltale white spotting, and i seem to have conquered, or at least diminished, the problem.
the hydroponics plants seem to be doing well. i'm considering starting a second batch, but i have to wait until the plants (which i've grown from seed) are ready. i need to wait until the true leaves (not cotelydons) have formed... i'm considering trying that nutrient film technique eventually, and maybe using the remnants of the rain gutters as the water transport canals. but that will be later on.
i still have to fix both of the rain catchment systems. one definitely can capture water when it rains, but it has a leak. i'm still not sure if the leak comes from where i put the little faucet in, or if there is a crack in the bottom of the barrel (at one point, i did drop the barrel pretty hard on the ground, and it looked as though there were spiderweb cracks on the bottom). i will use some kind of sealant to prevent any leakage. the other one must be sealed too, but for some reason, nothing is ending up in that barrel. i don't know if there is a blockage further up in the rain gutters; i suspect not, since at one point, i did hear water dripping into the elbow that i set up. but for some reason, no water is actually ending up in the barrel. maybe i set up the elbow attachment to the barrel such that the water is not ending up into the barrel's hole, and is instead, going somewhere else... but i'm not sure.
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writing has become something of a problem. i don't know what i'm trying to say. and i guess what i end up writing sounds so contrived that it really loses me as a writer. i simply don't want to write it. and the further in i get, the more artificial it seems. i guess i could just stick to writing feelings out. the frustrations i have. but that hardly makes a story. it is more a situation, dialogue, action, that make a story. and not a lot of shit happens in my actual life. that's why i make stuff up. i try to make stuff up to represent or augment or highlight the situation... but a lot of it is fake, and the fakeness, the contrivances, show.
but part of the problem with my brother's story is that my feelings are at once too strong, and too ambiguous. how is it possible to communicate ambiguity without falling into the trap of saying nothing at all? and how is it possible to write about what cannot be written about? how to avoid sounding whiny or preachy? it all frankly wears me out.
oh well, better get back to the grind. surprisingly, it's almost 11, and i have another meeting to attend...
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