reluctance
1641, "act of struggling against," from obsolete verb reluct "to struggle or rebel against" (1526), from L. reluctari "to struggle against," from re- "against" + luctari "to struggle." Meaning "unwillingness" is first attested 1667. Reluctant "unwilling" is recorded from 1706.
what is now a simple unwillingness or hesitancy was once an overt act of rebellion... how we've tampened down the insurgencies, and transformed them to a mere distanced "nonparticipation." the struggles have all turned within, and churned so far beneath the surface that their only trace is halting speech and motion. an impotent impasse is reluctance.
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