as usual at this time of year, i start feeling pretty blah... depressed. there isn't really a specific reason. i'm not happy about turning a year older, but then again, i don't feel particularly sad/afraid about it either. nevertheless, whenever my birthday comes around, i've come to expect a certain weariness/emptiness.
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i had a thought about tides, the in and out of everything, and how, with a large enough perspective, everything balances out. with respect to people who are quiet or silent, not because they are insensitive or shallow, but because they have taken the world in too much, there is also a balance. so i thought: a quiet person can either save the world or destroy it, depending upon how s/he "outs" the potentials that have collected within. and the day when a person "outs" is inevitable. people are not like pits or abysses, no matter how they would like to pretend that they are (for that matter, the world is not a "landfill" either; we are currently facing the consequences of the world we have thrown away); people are more like high compression springs. we can take a lot of pressure, but at a certain point, something has to give, something has to release. it all depends upon how a person releases the collected flood that determines whether s/he will be of benefit or ruin to those around.
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