how to lose all your friends in ten easy steps!!!

1. declare your political affiliations, and mention how "you don't understand how anyone can be" of the opposite persuasion.
2. bitch and moan about how terrible married life is, and how single people have it so easy (to single people)
3. or, talk about how sorry you are that so and so is single, and offer some "matronly" advice
4. hook up your single friends and watch the sparks fly! (usually, not the romantic variety)
5. say that your favorite karaoke song is: "we hate it when our friends become successful."
6. talk stink about people behind their backs
7. don't talk stink about people behind their backs
8. express your opinions, thinking people will appreciate you in all your glory.
9. don't express yourself, thinking people like you better as the reserved fellow standing on the wall.
10. write a blog entry about "how to lose all your friends in ten easy steps!!!"

guaranteed, or your money back!