strange and stupid etymologies: "preoccupation"

in my simplistic word analysis, "preoccupation" means "before work." as in all the stupid things you do to put off serious work (your "occupation").

right now, i am in a serious "preoccupation" mode, cycling between meaningless (but FUN!) facebook entries and putzing around on the piano and joking around with the kids (right now, of course, they are playing together in the bathtub). what's the deal with me? i have things to do, but somehow i just can't get around to doing them. there's a resistance within me that is less a wall, and more a magnetic storm that twirls my compass needle around until i'm thoroughly lost ... and while there normally would be some anxiety and anger in my recalcitrant "lost state," nowadays, today, i hardly care. "it's the way of the universe, which is the way within me," i mutter nonchalantly.

... but even the fool within me knows: the waterfall is coming...

tomorrow, i'll start my student teaching at aiea intermediate. it looks to be fun... i also have my acupoints class to teach in the evening... things need to be done for both. preparation. and perhaps the eleventh hour will find me doing those things. but right now, i'm "preoccupied" with- i don't know- picking at the knot within me, teasing strands apart... this gordian knot. a tangle. a complex. hairball.

i've been using my sister as some kind of excuse for this hypomania. for the swinging nature of my emotions, which can never find balance. (another funny word play: "see saw." as in, what i see is always what i saw... think about it when you "walk the plank." you'll never arrive at where you'd like to be [in the air], because as soon as you get there, it won't be where you are, but where you were... "see saw.") but it really is an excuse. bottom line: i've got to get my butt in gear. starting with: getting the kids out of the bathtub, doing the compulsory violin lessons with them, reading stories, "cuddling," getting the cup of water (before they ask), and making sure they're asleep by nine...

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...alright, alright, i'll do it!!! jeez, just get off my back.