i wanted to write something, a sort of reversal of conventional thinking... including the whole "love at first sight" thing (something which i have never personally experienced, unless of course you smudge over "ove" and replace with "ust"). the real beauty i have seen in people has always been somewhat "shy," that is, not apparent at first glance. it's only when i got to know them, when both i and the other relaxed into ourselves, that i started to notice how beautiful they really were. their smile. their little habits...
and i would also like to say something about "love." i like to pretend i'm a gardener, on those rare moments when i can sneak solitary time away from the wife and kids and work to putz around outside... and i like to draw metaphors from gardening. one metaphor, which has surely been overused (like over-used soil), is that between love and the nurturing of a gardener. but i think it applies. gardening requires a certain patience, and a certain faith. you provide the right conditions (soil, water, sunlight, shade) and then you draw back and wait. and if you're lucky and diligent (both), maybe something grows and blossoms into something beautiful. but it only happens if you're willing to put in the effort AND willing to wait (with enduring faith, a "no matter what" kind of acceptance)...
in a way, for me, anyway, love isn't something i really chose to "do." the seeds of love were always already planted. it's just that i couldn't cultivate and care for every one, and because i couldn't make a "democratic investment," i can only truly appreciate the beauty of those who i gave time and care to...
(there's much regret in that, to be sure, but i'm only one gardener...)
That's nice, but I like to think that love is like cooking a nice pot of stew. You can have a few ingredients or alot. If it isn't right; you add a bit more seasoning (keep working at it until it comes out perfectly). Anyway, each attempt has a slightly different result--kind of like a relationship.
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