straddling the divide: behaviorism, cognitive psychology?

first, let's begin with the etymology of "behave":

behave:
c.1410, from be- intensive prefix + have in the sense of "to have or bear oneself in a particular way, comport." O.E. behabban meant "to contain." Behavior is 1490, from havour, altered (by influence of have) from aver, from O.Fr. aveir "to have." Behaviorism coined 1913 by U.S. psychologist John B. Watson (1878-1958).

much of what is termed "classroom management" (and arguably much of what we call "education" in the classrooms) is dominated by behaviorist models. i'm currently taking a class on "classroom organization," and the textbook is written pretty much as an elaboration of the applications of behaviorism in the classroom.

i wondered, where was the cognitive based or social psychology applications?

i realize that behaviorism seems well-suited to "taking control" of or "motivating" students. and i know that behaviorism, as naively understood, has a "bad rap," either for its use of punishment, or its similarity (?) to "bribery..."

but: is it the only tool we can use to foster a positive learning environment?

i am currently reading a book on montessori, partially because my children currently attend a montessori school, and partially because i was hungry for a more cognitive-based model for classroom organization... apparently, montessori was inspired by itard and his work with the "wild boy of avignon", and whether she was aware of jean piaget or not, her ideas have been compared to his, particularly in her four stages model of development and her use of "sensorial" materials...

montessori utilized "self-correcting" materials: i.e., materials that could only "work" in certain ways, thus requiring the student to manipulate the materials to "figure out" the answer for him/herself... this removed the teacher from the role of "instructor," and placed her more in the role of "observer," and, when necessary, "gentle guide."

of course, a major critique of montessori has been that it allows too much independence on the part of students, and this naturally leads to situations where students don't "progress" according to standards...

montessori's response to this critique was: who invents these standards? should educators (to use modern parlance) "teach to tests"? or should educators and schools be truly "student centered," accommodating appropriately to a student's needs at any given moment? not "rushing," not "pushing," but, like a gardener, simply giving the child what he/she needs at any given moment... trusting that, like a plant, a child has an implicit drive to learn and grow...

okay, so i'm not entirely sold on montessori's claim that this works on EVERY child... but as an on again off again behaviorist with regards to my children, i at times feel that behaviorism reduces the interaction between teacher/student and parent/child to coercer and coerced... note the etymological tie between "behave" and "containment." i want to combine cognitive psychology and behavioral techniques into a more humanistic AND effective method, a pedagogy... with my kids, with my students...

well...