it's been a busy week... aside from regular work, i've had to work on the taxes, and continue the chore of cutting down that stupid tree... and there were other things: oh yes, the final. and discussions of increased work over the summer, because i'm taking on a few classes in the acupuncture school that i'd never taught before... so with all that going on, it's been somewhat hard to keep up with my routines. in fact, i'm getting into this mode where all this busy-ness is superseding any of those writing plans. i'm frankly despairing of it all... secretly... but if i hold things at a distance, it seems as though i can do it.
i've been thinking about neil gaiman. i thought his work in "the sandman" was excellent. i haven't really REALLY liked some of his later work: like the graveyard book or american gods. i think i liked anansi boys mainly for the tone of the story, which seemed a bit more overtly humorous. but i felt like there were a lot of holes in the graveyard book and american gods... by holes, i mean things that could've been explained better or more precisely. maybe i'm such a pedantic reader, but i like being told what's going on, or at least, i like being told in a way that makes me feel like it all makes sense... even anansi boys had some holes... for instance, who was the bird woman, and how was she connected to tiger?
bottom line: i like stories that are complex... rich... but that somehow make sense, almost in an intricately mechanical way. which is why, for me, stories are so damned hard to write. because if i see inconsistencies in a story that i am reading, well, you can damn well be sure that i'll catch them in anything i write... oftentimes before i even put my fingers to the keyboard...
right now... i have been wondering what i'm trying to get at with the kappa noodle story. it just seems so cruel. my brother seems like an asshole. i mean, he is, in several respects, but he also isn't. and i don't think i do a good enough job at making him a multi-leveled character. and myself. i mean i usually portray myself as pathetic, because it's often true... but in this story, there is no sympathy for the main character. there's no reason for anyone to like me in the story. and there's no real development or arc in the story as i had planned; he just experiences this weird event, ho hum... so i've been thinking about it more. it's not that i necessarily want to put a moral to the story. it's just that it doesn't work without it. there's no reason people want to read about how shitty your brother is. it then becomes just some pathetic complaint to the world. nothing more...
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sorry, took a break. er, brake. er, brake, Brake, BRAKE!!! what i mean to say is i took my two kids for their first day in official driving practice. it was fine. but scary...
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i had this idea of having two kappa, yagoro and kappa-chino. sort of like an angel conscience and a devil conscience. the bottom line would be that the protagonist needs to find his own way through life. not copy his stupid brother, who has a successful strategy in his own right. it's not really about right or wrong, but it is about finding your own authentic path. and for the protagonist, his pathway is not the flamboyant, successful, arrogant one. it is quiet and hidden, and based on small incremental actions. and so it is not as visible, not as obvious... it is based on gentleness and kindness. at least that's the message i'd like to say. not that the path of my older brother is either easy or wrong. but i think the world already recognizes it (too much), and it does not see the other path, or any other path... also, i think i wanted to hint (foreshadow) that even if the protagonist forgives his brother for the little abuses he commits to himself, there would come a time and an event when he (the little brother) perhaps could never forgive his brother. something irreparable. won't necessarily mention what it is...
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