the problem with motion is it stops eventually. the friction of our attachments gradually heats us up with our passing, until we rest in quiescence for a time.

the problem with stillness is it can't stop moving. within the most stable element, the atoms are quivering and blurring. it is only a matter of time until, like billiard balls, they shake us into our restless wandering again.

an uncomfortable outcast and nomad, to shift from place to place... that's all that we are...

***

it's funny. i once commented to a roommate: life is just moving in or moving out. it's either unpacking, or packing up.

when we're unpacking, we want to "make a home," take out all of our shit, and arrange it on the walls and floors to make things look attractive and alive. and we are so excited to be here...

when we're packing up, whether moving due to choice or circumstance, there's a certain repugnance to the earth, we gather everything of our own up, and cast off what we deem unnecessary, or inessential. we are paring down, reducing to a minimum, carrying only what matters. there's a restlessness for the road, and the road requires a streamlining of everything, a certain kind of efficiency...

and there's perhaps a promise of the end of the road, a someplace better, where we will unpack again, and make a new home.

we are always oscillating between these two extremes, whether it is with our literal home, or with our home in others, or in activities, or in anything else.

packing, unpacking.

***

travelers understand the game better. it becomes a routine. a religion...

***

today, i posted 7 entries on craigslist to sell some of my father-in-law's furniture. and within a few hours, i managed to sell 4 items. it's pretty amazing.

i also found a posting from mckenna publishing, looking for writers. i sent a message about marsilani 4. it would be nice to hear something from someone, though i won't get my hopes up. as things are, i'm content. sort of. it just would be nice to get a bit more exposure. i guess.

***

i'm kind of touched, but a few interns would really like me to supervise this upcoming semester, even though i really didn't think i could, what with my increased student teaching schedule. but since there are furlough fridays, and since the school created a friday shift, perhaps i can accommodate.

supervising is great, but it's also taxing. it is a negotiation between myself, the intern, and the patient. obviously, the patient's needs come first, but there are many interpretations over what is going on with the patient, and these have to play out. i have to take into consideration what an intern is willing to perceive, their comfort level, and together with him/her create a treatment that "makes sense" to everyone.

there really is no one way to do anything in acupuncture. different traditions, different interpretations within traditions, different ways of executing. i preach clarity and simplicity and gentleness, even when i know that the seas are roiling and rough with contradictions, vagaries... this much is true: the actual treatment, the actual doing of anything, is a performative act. and during the performance, you cannot second guess yourself. you just have to DO...

***

i must get some sleep...