Tuesday, December 29, 2009
as expected, the publisher that i emailed responded with a curt reply: "sorry, but we don't work with self-published books."
to be honest, i'm half hoping the wave of the future will be self-publishing. it would be a repetition of what's happening in the recording industry, or even with television, or journalism. certainly, there's a kind of comfort in having "someone" be an arbiter and judge of "good taste," who will repackage and promote material to the greater public. it makes it much easier for the average consumer to get a pulse on what's "popular" (i.e, top sellers, whatever). but then again, publishers really haven't the patience to look at anything new or unique; they're too busy watching the bottom line. and oftentimes, as in much popular media (music, movies) that means reproducing something formulaic, something that has a proven track record. for example, i can't tell you how many comic book characters or fantasy books have been translated to the big screen; it's as though the movie making machine is mechanically churning out every possible tangent to previous "success."
when i emailed a message over to this publisher, i was asked to mention who my market was, and any other books that were similar to my own. again, it's all about what will sell. the first query is concerned with the size of the appeal pool, and the second, with demonstrated public interest...
i can't blame publishers. i have a feeling, though, that it will only get harder for them to survive. "taste" is splintering, as is society, in a certain sense...
***
interestingly enough, i heard a related story on npr. no, it wasn't about the publishing industry. but it was about how the eye and ear of society was no longer focused upon general shared social experiences. for example, no single show really captures the popular attention any more. in the earlier part of the decade, seinfeld might have served this role, and the day after the airing of any episode, everyone (who's not under a rock) would be talking about "yadayadayada" or "no soup for you" or whatever. it was a shared cultural experience. nowadays, even american idol only commands 16% of popular audience attention, so you're excused for not knowing who's the next favorite or whatever (i certainly don't).
television is no longer a small set of channels; it has exploded to, at the minimum, 60 channels. and it competes with the internet. people are finding their niches, and sticking to them.
there's a concern over this, particularly with regards to news. people who lean to the right will watch fox news, and stick around in that echo chamber, cultivating their own perspective on "reality," while generally left leaning individuals might listen more to npr or the daily show... more choices in the media results in a fragmented (or, to put it positively, prismatic) social consciousness.
blogging, self-publishing, etc. leads to a democratization in the "printed" media. this can be a good thing, in that it allows for more voices. on the flip side, publishers and other arbiters of "taste" (those who propose and establish literary canons, for example) will complain of the cacophany of "letting anyone and everyone into the party."
i don't really take sides on this. to me, it's a general historical trend, and as far as i can see, an irreversible one. i self-publish. whether i'm just adding to the cacophany, or i have a relevant and important thing to say, well, that's for someone else to decide.
most publishers (like the one i just submitted to) have already made up their minds.
as for me, what the hell. i never imagined writing was a meal ticket. and i wasn't precisely writing for a "popular audience" anyway. i write for me, and the projected and idealized (perhaps nonexistent) reader within me. i say, as long as i stay true to that, without straying into self-delusion or solipsism, then... what the hell.
to be honest, i'm half hoping the wave of the future will be self-publishing. it would be a repetition of what's happening in the recording industry, or even with television, or journalism. certainly, there's a kind of comfort in having "someone" be an arbiter and judge of "good taste," who will repackage and promote material to the greater public. it makes it much easier for the average consumer to get a pulse on what's "popular" (i.e, top sellers, whatever). but then again, publishers really haven't the patience to look at anything new or unique; they're too busy watching the bottom line. and oftentimes, as in much popular media (music, movies) that means reproducing something formulaic, something that has a proven track record. for example, i can't tell you how many comic book characters or fantasy books have been translated to the big screen; it's as though the movie making machine is mechanically churning out every possible tangent to previous "success."
when i emailed a message over to this publisher, i was asked to mention who my market was, and any other books that were similar to my own. again, it's all about what will sell. the first query is concerned with the size of the appeal pool, and the second, with demonstrated public interest...
i can't blame publishers. i have a feeling, though, that it will only get harder for them to survive. "taste" is splintering, as is society, in a certain sense...
***
interestingly enough, i heard a related story on npr. no, it wasn't about the publishing industry. but it was about how the eye and ear of society was no longer focused upon general shared social experiences. for example, no single show really captures the popular attention any more. in the earlier part of the decade, seinfeld might have served this role, and the day after the airing of any episode, everyone (who's not under a rock) would be talking about "yadayadayada" or "no soup for you" or whatever. it was a shared cultural experience. nowadays, even american idol only commands 16% of popular audience attention, so you're excused for not knowing who's the next favorite or whatever (i certainly don't).
television is no longer a small set of channels; it has exploded to, at the minimum, 60 channels. and it competes with the internet. people are finding their niches, and sticking to them.
there's a concern over this, particularly with regards to news. people who lean to the right will watch fox news, and stick around in that echo chamber, cultivating their own perspective on "reality," while generally left leaning individuals might listen more to npr or the daily show... more choices in the media results in a fragmented (or, to put it positively, prismatic) social consciousness.
blogging, self-publishing, etc. leads to a democratization in the "printed" media. this can be a good thing, in that it allows for more voices. on the flip side, publishers and other arbiters of "taste" (those who propose and establish literary canons, for example) will complain of the cacophany of "letting anyone and everyone into the party."
i don't really take sides on this. to me, it's a general historical trend, and as far as i can see, an irreversible one. i self-publish. whether i'm just adding to the cacophany, or i have a relevant and important thing to say, well, that's for someone else to decide.
most publishers (like the one i just submitted to) have already made up their minds.
as for me, what the hell. i never imagined writing was a meal ticket. and i wasn't precisely writing for a "popular audience" anyway. i write for me, and the projected and idealized (perhaps nonexistent) reader within me. i say, as long as i stay true to that, without straying into self-delusion or solipsism, then... what the hell.
the problem with motion is it stops eventually. the friction of our attachments gradually heats us up with our passing, until we rest in quiescence for a time.
the problem with stillness is it can't stop moving. within the most stable element, the atoms are quivering and blurring. it is only a matter of time until, like billiard balls, they shake us into our restless wandering again.
an uncomfortable outcast and nomad, to shift from place to place... that's all that we are...
***
it's funny. i once commented to a roommate: life is just moving in or moving out. it's either unpacking, or packing up.
when we're unpacking, we want to "make a home," take out all of our shit, and arrange it on the walls and floors to make things look attractive and alive. and we are so excited to be here...
when we're packing up, whether moving due to choice or circumstance, there's a certain repugnance to the earth, we gather everything of our own up, and cast off what we deem unnecessary, or inessential. we are paring down, reducing to a minimum, carrying only what matters. there's a restlessness for the road, and the road requires a streamlining of everything, a certain kind of efficiency...
and there's perhaps a promise of the end of the road, a someplace better, where we will unpack again, and make a new home.
we are always oscillating between these two extremes, whether it is with our literal home, or with our home in others, or in activities, or in anything else.
packing, unpacking.
***
travelers understand the game better. it becomes a routine. a religion...
***
today, i posted 7 entries on craigslist to sell some of my father-in-law's furniture. and within a few hours, i managed to sell 4 items. it's pretty amazing.
i also found a posting from mckenna publishing, looking for writers. i sent a message about marsilani 4. it would be nice to hear something from someone, though i won't get my hopes up. as things are, i'm content. sort of. it just would be nice to get a bit more exposure. i guess.
***
i'm kind of touched, but a few interns would really like me to supervise this upcoming semester, even though i really didn't think i could, what with my increased student teaching schedule. but since there are furlough fridays, and since the school created a friday shift, perhaps i can accommodate.
supervising is great, but it's also taxing. it is a negotiation between myself, the intern, and the patient. obviously, the patient's needs come first, but there are many interpretations over what is going on with the patient, and these have to play out. i have to take into consideration what an intern is willing to perceive, their comfort level, and together with him/her create a treatment that "makes sense" to everyone.
there really is no one way to do anything in acupuncture. different traditions, different interpretations within traditions, different ways of executing. i preach clarity and simplicity and gentleness, even when i know that the seas are roiling and rough with contradictions, vagaries... this much is true: the actual treatment, the actual doing of anything, is a performative act. and during the performance, you cannot second guess yourself. you just have to DO...
***
i must get some sleep...
the problem with stillness is it can't stop moving. within the most stable element, the atoms are quivering and blurring. it is only a matter of time until, like billiard balls, they shake us into our restless wandering again.
an uncomfortable outcast and nomad, to shift from place to place... that's all that we are...
***
it's funny. i once commented to a roommate: life is just moving in or moving out. it's either unpacking, or packing up.
when we're unpacking, we want to "make a home," take out all of our shit, and arrange it on the walls and floors to make things look attractive and alive. and we are so excited to be here...
when we're packing up, whether moving due to choice or circumstance, there's a certain repugnance to the earth, we gather everything of our own up, and cast off what we deem unnecessary, or inessential. we are paring down, reducing to a minimum, carrying only what matters. there's a restlessness for the road, and the road requires a streamlining of everything, a certain kind of efficiency...
and there's perhaps a promise of the end of the road, a someplace better, where we will unpack again, and make a new home.
we are always oscillating between these two extremes, whether it is with our literal home, or with our home in others, or in activities, or in anything else.
packing, unpacking.
***
travelers understand the game better. it becomes a routine. a religion...
***
today, i posted 7 entries on craigslist to sell some of my father-in-law's furniture. and within a few hours, i managed to sell 4 items. it's pretty amazing.
i also found a posting from mckenna publishing, looking for writers. i sent a message about marsilani 4. it would be nice to hear something from someone, though i won't get my hopes up. as things are, i'm content. sort of. it just would be nice to get a bit more exposure. i guess.
***
i'm kind of touched, but a few interns would really like me to supervise this upcoming semester, even though i really didn't think i could, what with my increased student teaching schedule. but since there are furlough fridays, and since the school created a friday shift, perhaps i can accommodate.
supervising is great, but it's also taxing. it is a negotiation between myself, the intern, and the patient. obviously, the patient's needs come first, but there are many interpretations over what is going on with the patient, and these have to play out. i have to take into consideration what an intern is willing to perceive, their comfort level, and together with him/her create a treatment that "makes sense" to everyone.
there really is no one way to do anything in acupuncture. different traditions, different interpretations within traditions, different ways of executing. i preach clarity and simplicity and gentleness, even when i know that the seas are roiling and rough with contradictions, vagaries... this much is true: the actual treatment, the actual doing of anything, is a performative act. and during the performance, you cannot second guess yourself. you just have to DO...
***
i must get some sleep...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
the mad rush of christmas is winding down... yesterday, lynn and i sat down to compile our christmas card/christmas letter/present lists, and planned everything out. we were actually further ahead of the game than i thought, thanks to lynn's foresight and preparation. she had shopped for kids' clothing months in advance. i was actually worried that i would have to shop for game/toy ideas to match up each individual kid on our list... while i'm sure the kids won't be as happy to receive clothes (i recall, as a kid, how i'd have to feign JOY at receiving some new stuffy set of clothes that i'd have to immediately try on... gee, THANKS... :P), at least it is something substantial to appease the obligatory gift-giving. (<-- geez, do i sound like an ebenezer or what).
i sent out a big pile of christmas letter/cards out, dragged the kids along to delivery errands and a treatment and my taiji class... and then scrambled over to a family dinner over at the hawaii prince hotel... (aiden and lynn couldn't come because aiden developed a sudden fever...)
***
during taiji class, one of the students came up with an interesting observation. we had practiced the first form (which actually is the standardized 24-form, not particular to any one style). we did it twice, first at a very slow pace, and the second time slightly faster. one student noted that the first one felt "concentrated," but during the second, her mind really wandered and lost focus.
i likened taiji practice to carrying a large bowl filled nearly to the brim with water. if you practice slowly, with awareness, then none of the water spills, and there is a clarity to the water because of the relative absence of ripples. if, however, you practice swiftly, then there is a tendency to cause spillage and ripples in the mind. the mind truly reflects the body; the faster and more "automatic" (i.e. thoughtless and "stereotyped") the movements, the more the mind wanders off on tangents...
this is one reason for the slow practice of taijiquan. it is a practice that emphasizes the stillness and awareness of the mind. it requires a clarity of all levels of being, participating in one action. most other hurried motion implies a division of the self into fragments, into the "automatic" or unconscious mind that accomplishes the task, and the "floating" thinking mind that is liberated from the actual labor, and can actually dissociate itself from present circumstances...
i realize that i need to return to the stillness practices, to zazen meditation, to zhan zhuang. i think i'm losing my temper, my patience, my focus, my self...
the strength of someone who meditates and is at one with all levels of himself is like the power/energy of a wave formed in the deep sea, with an amplitude (oftentimes hidden) as high as a mountain... compare this to someone who is restless, and thus accomplishes only what bare ripples do...
***
i keep thinking about population issues. we are losing resources fast, we are destroying the environment irreversibly. the world was not meant to support so many hungry and polluting humans... something has got to give. human beings must learn to put limits on their proliferation, on their behavior... and yet, when i look at copenhagen, or even within our own divided nation, i think, sadly, that even when the truth of issues stares us in the face, we as a species cannot unite to do what needs to be done... people always only think of their own personal interests... no one sees, or acts on, the big picture.
(and why should they?)
in apocalyptic movies, like "war of the worlds" (the more recent version, directed by steven spielberg), the survivors definitely act only on self-interest. of course! self-interest, which compromises all morality. perhaps morality is contextual and nothing more than a social agreement anyway... perhaps there are situations where we learn what illusions "society" imposes upon us. i think, i fear, that we are headed for such apocalyptic circumstances in coming decades... when we realize what a fiction our civilization is, how it fails to take into account the consequences of our way of life... i fear we will witness such a situation, a situation where the "moral majority" suddenly murders or pillages, convictions abandoned in the face of extinction and hunger...
honestly, faced with the death of you and yours, what would you do?
grim thoughts, truly, but they preoccupy me, and (i suspect) people are thinking about such things more and more, deep in the repressed parts of their minds... we are approaching capacity, we are near the ceiling... and we don't know what's going to happen next...
i fear for my children. i will teach them how to be good. how to be ethical. and i will hope that, when they are faced with the difficult choices of the future, they will find a way to survive, but more importantly, they will find a way to do so while retaining their humanity...
***
but then, all of these concerns are but ripples. i must be still, even if the world ends, i must be still, and learn to see the death of all things (including me and my own) with acceptance, with peace. the living react to death, to fear, and divide themselves into hopes and fears. if i look upon everything with equanimity, and without turning away, then perhaps i can become one with the end of the world...
i sent out a big pile of christmas letter/cards out, dragged the kids along to delivery errands and a treatment and my taiji class... and then scrambled over to a family dinner over at the hawaii prince hotel... (aiden and lynn couldn't come because aiden developed a sudden fever...)
***
during taiji class, one of the students came up with an interesting observation. we had practiced the first form (which actually is the standardized 24-form, not particular to any one style). we did it twice, first at a very slow pace, and the second time slightly faster. one student noted that the first one felt "concentrated," but during the second, her mind really wandered and lost focus.
i likened taiji practice to carrying a large bowl filled nearly to the brim with water. if you practice slowly, with awareness, then none of the water spills, and there is a clarity to the water because of the relative absence of ripples. if, however, you practice swiftly, then there is a tendency to cause spillage and ripples in the mind. the mind truly reflects the body; the faster and more "automatic" (i.e. thoughtless and "stereotyped") the movements, the more the mind wanders off on tangents...
this is one reason for the slow practice of taijiquan. it is a practice that emphasizes the stillness and awareness of the mind. it requires a clarity of all levels of being, participating in one action. most other hurried motion implies a division of the self into fragments, into the "automatic" or unconscious mind that accomplishes the task, and the "floating" thinking mind that is liberated from the actual labor, and can actually dissociate itself from present circumstances...
i realize that i need to return to the stillness practices, to zazen meditation, to zhan zhuang. i think i'm losing my temper, my patience, my focus, my self...
the strength of someone who meditates and is at one with all levels of himself is like the power/energy of a wave formed in the deep sea, with an amplitude (oftentimes hidden) as high as a mountain... compare this to someone who is restless, and thus accomplishes only what bare ripples do...
***
i keep thinking about population issues. we are losing resources fast, we are destroying the environment irreversibly. the world was not meant to support so many hungry and polluting humans... something has got to give. human beings must learn to put limits on their proliferation, on their behavior... and yet, when i look at copenhagen, or even within our own divided nation, i think, sadly, that even when the truth of issues stares us in the face, we as a species cannot unite to do what needs to be done... people always only think of their own personal interests... no one sees, or acts on, the big picture.
(and why should they?)
in apocalyptic movies, like "war of the worlds" (the more recent version, directed by steven spielberg), the survivors definitely act only on self-interest. of course! self-interest, which compromises all morality. perhaps morality is contextual and nothing more than a social agreement anyway... perhaps there are situations where we learn what illusions "society" imposes upon us. i think, i fear, that we are headed for such apocalyptic circumstances in coming decades... when we realize what a fiction our civilization is, how it fails to take into account the consequences of our way of life... i fear we will witness such a situation, a situation where the "moral majority" suddenly murders or pillages, convictions abandoned in the face of extinction and hunger...
honestly, faced with the death of you and yours, what would you do?
grim thoughts, truly, but they preoccupy me, and (i suspect) people are thinking about such things more and more, deep in the repressed parts of their minds... we are approaching capacity, we are near the ceiling... and we don't know what's going to happen next...
i fear for my children. i will teach them how to be good. how to be ethical. and i will hope that, when they are faced with the difficult choices of the future, they will find a way to survive, but more importantly, they will find a way to do so while retaining their humanity...
***
but then, all of these concerns are but ripples. i must be still, even if the world ends, i must be still, and learn to see the death of all things (including me and my own) with acceptance, with peace. the living react to death, to fear, and divide themselves into hopes and fears. if i look upon everything with equanimity, and without turning away, then perhaps i can become one with the end of the world...
Monday, December 14, 2009
2009 crappy holiday song remakes
HOLIDAY ANTHEMS TO PROFOUND LAZINESS AND STUPOR
1) “I need to get back into fitness” (sung to “I’m dreaming of a white christmas”)
i need to get back into fitness
my waist’s continuing to grow
gotta quit my bitchin’
get the sweat to glisten,
and give malasadas a furlough.
i need to get back into fitness
maybe i’ll even start tonight
until then, i’ll try to feel contrite
about giving that gingerbread a bite.
i need to get back into fitness
maybe i’ll even start tonight
until then, i’ll try to feel contrite
about giving that gingerbread a bite.
2) “Let it grow!” (sung to “Let it Snow”)
oh the grass outside is frightful
it’s been growing day and nightful
and since i don’t want to mow
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow
it doesn’t show signs of stopping
even though their bangs needs cropping
and since i’m a lazy schmoe
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow
when you finally assert your might
and kick me out on the yard
i’ll be napping and out of sight
hardly working, not working hard!
i’m a schmuck, there’s no denying
and the grass is still up-high-ing
but as long as you love me so
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow!
1) “I need to get back into fitness” (sung to “I’m dreaming of a white christmas”)
i need to get back into fitness
my waist’s continuing to grow
gotta quit my bitchin’
get the sweat to glisten,
and give malasadas a furlough.
i need to get back into fitness
maybe i’ll even start tonight
until then, i’ll try to feel contrite
about giving that gingerbread a bite.
i need to get back into fitness
maybe i’ll even start tonight
until then, i’ll try to feel contrite
about giving that gingerbread a bite.
2) “Let it grow!” (sung to “Let it Snow”)
oh the grass outside is frightful
it’s been growing day and nightful
and since i don’t want to mow
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow
it doesn’t show signs of stopping
even though their bangs needs cropping
and since i’m a lazy schmoe
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow
when you finally assert your might
and kick me out on the yard
i’ll be napping and out of sight
hardly working, not working hard!
i’m a schmuck, there’s no denying
and the grass is still up-high-ing
but as long as you love me so
let it grow, let it grow, let it grow!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
restoration
i've imported the old entries (from 2007-2008) again. primary reason for this is that a few taijiquan students are learning the third form (aka "chiu style taijiquan") and wanted to view the video of me doing it. a lot of stories, poems, etc. are now accessible... not that anybody does...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
regret is a red planet
regret is a red planet
and here we are,
on the planet of blue
looking around for something to do.
and something to see.
on worlds in space,
of ice, a trace
in mounts, a face
we are so afraid of being alone
the life we lead
bound by ozone and
concealed, in turn,
by car and office,
home and sighs,
circumstance and lidded eyes,
the compromise of
a million imperfect lies
we are so afraid of being alone
there must be life somewhere
in a canal perhaps
dug as much by lost hopes
as by some alien hand
regret is a red planet-
and will be until we land.
and here we are,
on the planet of blue
looking around for something to do.
and something to see.
on worlds in space,
of ice, a trace
in mounts, a face
we are so afraid of being alone
the life we lead
bound by ozone and
concealed, in turn,
by car and office,
home and sighs,
circumstance and lidded eyes,
the compromise of
a million imperfect lies
we are so afraid of being alone
there must be life somewhere
in a canal perhaps
dug as much by lost hopes
as by some alien hand
regret is a red planet-
and will be until we land.
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