PAGE 8 TASH CONNECTIONS, NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2005
“Dream It, See It,
Do It!”
BY BRIAN KAJIYAMA
Brian Kajiyama holds a Bachelor of
Arts degree and is currently a candidate
for Masters Degree in Counseling
Education at the University of Hawai‘i
in Honolulu.
Comments about this article may be
directed to Mr. Kajiyama at
kajiyama@hawaii.edu
On a sunny afternoon in Kailua,
Hawai‘i, I sat in my high school
history class listening to my
teacher talk about the importance of taking
school seriously if we planned to move
onto a college. I thought to myself, ‘Don’t
worry, I’ve been working towards that goal
ever since I was a kid in elementary school.’
The groundwork had been set from an
early age to help me navigate my journey
from high school to postsecondary
education. My experiences through the
infant stimulation program at Easter Seals,
coupled with the emphasis that my family
placed on education, all contributed to my
chosen educational path. There are four
main components that I feel contributed to
my progression to college from high school
(and receiving special education supports
during that time). Self-determination, self-
advocacy, empowerment, and support
systems are all integral pieces that allowed
for a successful transition.
Self-Determination
When I was a youngster attending elemen-
tary school, people would often ask me,
‘Brian, what do you want to do when you
grow up?’ My response would consistently
be, ‘I’m going to attend the University of
Hawai`i (UH) and play sports for them.’
(Most see someone who has a severe form
of cerebral palsy and uses a motorized
wheelchair as not your typical athletic type.)
Perhaps this mindset enabled me to
develop self-determination. I had
established a dream, to attend college. As I
got older, I soon found out what I needed
to do to make my dream become a reality.
Getting to college would not be easy; I
would need to deal with physical and
attitudinal barriers. I quickly learned that I
would need to work extremely hard, if not
harder than the next person.
However, I could clearly see myself
attending college at UH. I knew that I was
capable of working hard and could control
how much effort I put into reaching my
goal; I could either slack off or work really
hard. The choice was mine. Once I
pictured myself attending college, the next
stage of the process was to do everything I
could to make my dream a reality. This
image fostered the sense of self-determina-
tion that I would need in order to place
myself in a better position to fulfill my
goal.
I view self-determination as an internal
desire to accomplish a goal and doing
everything you can to persevere over any
obstacles that might hinder your progress.
Prior to the start of my junior year of high
school, I underwent back surgery to correct
the scoliosis that I had developed. This
surgical procedure entailed the insertion of
steel rods along my entire spine to
straighten it out -- a major undertaking to
say the least!. I anticipated missing only a
couple weeks of school. The best laid
plans often never go smoothly, thus you
always must prepare for anything. But, I
don’t think I could have prepared for what
was to come.
Due to complications as a result of the
surgery, I was unable to eat any food orally,
and had to be fed via a nasal-gastro (NG)
tube. For a 16-year old, this was an
extremely trying and traumatizing experi-
ence to go through. There I was, lying in
bed with the constant thought, inspite of
that NG, ‘I could eat an entire pizza! Give
me anything to eat!’
Each time I attempted to eat, I would
vomit, thus the NG tube became a
necessity if I was to receive any form of
nutrition. What happened was that my
intestines became stretched as I literally
grew a few inches after my spine was
straightened, so there was not enough space
for the food to pass through. The only
solution was to allow my intestines to open
up and this would be achieved through my
gaining weight. Any degree of weight gain
takes a really long time if it needs to be
done via a NG tube.
I was unable to eat for about two months,
but I always kept going to college at UH in
mind. I would attend classes at the
hospital, trying to keep up with the material
I was missing. Studying and learning is
made difficult when you’re not feeling your
best; but I was determined to keep up with
my peers. I knew I could not afford to let
an entire semester go to waste. By this
time, I had missed nearly an entire quarter
of high school.
Despite my absence from school, I
managed to keep up and turned in assign-
ments as best I could. As soon as my
intestines opened up enough to allow food
to pass through, the doctors had me eat a
lot of food. They wanted me to gain
enough weight to ensure that my intestine
would not close up again, so I vividly recall
eating ice cream sandwiches every hour for
days on end. That was the one and only
time that I could have been considered
heavy (normally I’m very thin), but I did
what I needed to do in order to get better.
I returned to school approximately two
weeks before the first quarter was to end. I
had lots of make up work to do, despite
attending the hospital’s school. Shriner’s
Hospital had their own school, and I
received services as detailed in my IEP.
There was no pressure from my teachers;
they did not lay down any ultimatums. In
their eyes, if I passed great, if not, I would
need to do remedial work. I knew I wanted
to graduate on time with all of my friends.
I also knew that I had college waiting in the
wings! I did everything I could to absorb
as much of the information that I needed
to within those two weeks. I had exams to
take and pass.
I passed all of my classes. That feeling was
so rewarding because I knew that my hard
work paid off, and I was well on my way to
achieving my goal of attending college.
Along this journey to college, I encoun-
tered other obstacles. These obstacles
required me to speak up for myself and
take on the role of a self-advocate.
Self-Advocacy
The ability to speak up for yourself when
needs arise can be referred to as self-
advocacy. This is definitely not an easy
characteristic to develop, as it forces you to
take risks and step out of your comfort
zone. I was not an outspoken person at all
in high school. In fact, I still would
consider myself to be more on the shy side
of the spectrum of personalities.
Although I had many teachers in high
school who were very supportive and
accommodating to ensure that I had all of
the tools and help to succeed, there were a
few instances where this was not the case.
My biology teacher during my sophomore
year of high school was nice, but not very
accommodating. A lot of material was
presented in class using an overhead
projector. As fast as I tried to write all of
the information down in my notebook, I
would miss key points. This had a direct
impact on my ability to excel on examina-
tions and quizzes. I was struggling.
I took the initiative to approach my teacher
to ask if I could receive copies of the
overheads. Her reply was simply, ‘No, this
is a college-prep course and college
professors won’t xerox things for you, so I
won’t.’ I found this response a bit upset-
ting, but I continued to strive to do my
best. I still was not doing well in this class,
even despite attending tutoring sessions
during recess.
Finally, I realized that I needed additional
support, so I consulted with my special
education resource teacher and explained
the situation. I concluded this discussion
by requesting a note taker. The next week,
I had a note taker and I began to slowly
grasp concepts more effectively and began
to do significantly better on my quizzes.
This example illustrates a form of self-
advocacy. I recognized a genuine need and
asked for appropriate support. I did
inform my parents, but they did not take
matters into their own hands and allowed
me to resolve the matter on my own.
However, I had the confidence and
comfort in knowing that I had their full
support should I require any assistance. I
took pride in knowing that I had a note
taker in my class due to the actions I
took! This incident led me to another
realization -- empowerment.
Empowerment
Despite having a significant disability, I
possessed a significant amount of power.
By simply speaking out for myself and
informing people of my needs, I was able
to receive the support I required to allow
me to succeed to my highest potential.
This feeling is referred to as “empower-
ment.”
Empowerment refers to the idea of
allowing people more responsibility to act
for themselves in order to achieve a goal.
Rather than placing control in the hands of
others, the locus of control is placed with
the individual. By demonstrating confi-
dence in someone, you empower. By
allowing someone to do a task on their
own, you empower. By allowing someone
to take risks by exploring new avenues or
opportunities, you empower.
I was fortunate that I was empowered
throughout high school. My special
education resource teacher, therapists, and
parents allowed me to control my own
destiny. If I chose not to study, they would
remind me that I had studies to do, but
they would not force me to study. I would
quickly find out that if I did not study, I
would suffer the consequences; in this case,
the consequence would be a less-than-
stellar grade. I knew full well that I needed
to maintain good grades if I was to
accomplish my goal of attending college. I
was also empowered by receiving appropri-
ate support services.
A fine line exists between receiving
adequate support and receiving too much
support. Receiving too much support
might seem great at the time. You might
be able to get away without working as hard
as you need to, but ultimately this ‘babying’
of sorts will hurt your chances of success.
You’ll expect these supports to be there all
the way through, when in reality you might
not really need them. Thus, it is extremely
important to be honest with yourself and
ask only for what you truly need.
At the same time, empowerment comes
through receiving adequate supports. My
parents empowered me by providing me
with a computer at home that I would use
to type my papers and communicate with
friends via e-mail. My therapists
empowered me by ensuring that my body
was strong enough and my muscles
maintained a good range of motion so I
would not become overly tight; I could sit
comfortably in class, which enhanced my
ability to learn. My doctors empowered me
by making sure I was healthy and received
whatever medication I needed to ensure
that I could attend school and be a
productive student. Empowerment
demonstrates how important a quality
support system can be. I was extremely
fortunate to have a fabulous support
system.
Support System
My main source of support came from
within my family. They helped me keep my
dream alive when I would go through
periods of doubt. ‘You can get through
this, Brian. We know you can!’ This is an
example of the type of positive reinforce-
ment that my parents would provide me.
This type of support was extremely
instrumental, especially when you were well
aware of societal perceptions that you
would not be able to transition into college
successfully because you have a significant
disability.
Through positive reinforcement, I was able
to develop a strong sense of self and
maintained a positive self-image. I never
doubted my abilities for long. I would catch
myself going off course and would tell
myself, ‘Brian, you will attend college. Just
keep working hard.’ This type of positive
self-talk might seem silly, but it’s really
effective, particularly during periods where
you might hear negative comments directed
toward you.
The therapists who worked with me,
including physical and occupational
therapists, were very helpful, as well. They
worked with me to figure out the best way
to make any accommodations I might need
for classes, whether it was adapting
materials to allow me to participate or by
suggesting a peer-support system whereby a
classmate might help me in the classroom.
All of these ideas were influential in
allowing me to maximize my potential as a
student.
During my senior year of high school, I
took the college entrance examination and
did not score as high as I would have liked,
so I took it a second time. My second
score was high enough to allow me to apply
to the University of Hawai‘i, and my strong
academic record helped to seal my dream
that I would attend college! I can vividly
recall receiving my acceptance letter from
UH.
It was at that point that I realized that I had
accomplished achieving my dream by first
visualizing it and then setting out to do
everything I needed to do to allow me to
be in the best possible position to make the
dream a reality. I’m living out my dream by
attending UH, and instead of being an
athlete I’m a very loyal fan. We must
dream big and not view altering our goals
as failing, but rather utilizing our unique
abilities in the best way possible. Dream it,
see it, and do it!”
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