insomniac state

yet again, i cannot sleep...

it's been a somewhat hectic week, relatively speaking (i know with the financial crisis, it's probably been a hectic week for a lot of people). for myself, it's been a week of juggling work on patients with student teaching at aiea intermediate with doing assignments last minute for my sped classes with running wednesday clinic with doing homework and violin with willow and aiden... i am so looking forward to halloween. it's the one night when i can get dressed up as some weirdo and just be someone else for a time. actually, this year, since i run wednesday clinic, and since i've got a willing bunch of interns, we're going to dress up (even though technically it won't be halloween). the interns are supposed to be somewhat low key... i think the consensus costume is going to be "killer bees." something to do with bi syndrome and all that (a chinese medicine joke, sort of, haha). myself, i'm going to do my crappy cosplay thing. for halloween, i'm going as tobi/madara uchiha, but for wednesday's clinic, i might go as kakashi. all naruto characters by the way... or, maybe i should go as "the crow" (kinda old school, but what the hey).

i wish i had something more profound to say. of course, i don't think anyone really reads this blog. i do like to make it seem that somewhere amidst all this "stuff," this "domestic life," there is something of interest... unfortunately, no. nothing. i'm just tired, but wired, if that makes any sense... too exhausted to put any effort into anything, too awake and "wanting-to-do-something" to allow myself to drift off...

i guess i need someone to kill me. someone beautiful. with a wicked knife. someone to slip into the shadows silently, with eyes that love me, eyes that calmly seek to destroy me... wouldn't that be nice? after that blinding hitched-breath strike, connected by the tunneled blade, eyes locked for one brief moment, like a mirrored image so desirous of union with its maker that it shatters itself to pieces...

yeah. or something like that.

well, i'd best be going before i embarrass myself.

whoops, too late for that. too late for anything, except sleep.