decision to be compassionate

i've been thinking a lot about misperceiving children. if you're a parent (and even if you aren't), i'm sure you encounter situations where you, say, go to a park, and see other children, either with or without their parents... and, whether you're aware of it or not, whether you want to or not, you start judging those kids, measuring them against the yardstick of your own kids, or your idea of how kids should be. i know i'm guilty of this.

but since i'm studying special education, i've come to the realization that a lot of the kids that i'd label as "bad" or "wild" are the same kids i'll be seeing in the classroom context; in the latter environment, the labels will be different: ebd (emotional behavioral disorder) or adhd (attention deficient hyperactivity disorder) or autistic or whatever. and i won't have the luxury to blithely pass judgments on those children; i'll have to interact with them, motivate them, yes, in a certain sense, love them...

today, when i went to the "beautiful park" (nuuanu valley park) with the kids, there was a young boy (4 years old) whom i previously may have written off as adhd, or mildly ebd. in most situations, i'd politely keep willow and aiden away from the boy. but today, i just decided to examine the boy, and my feelings; also, willow's and aiden's interactions with him. willow and aiden are both naturally gregarious (very unlike me), and in addition to this, i think willow in particular is sensitive to "differences." in a way, i think willow cues into me, to how i react to the behavior of people. i responded to the boy in a polite way; he seemed to want to interact with me. eventually, i got him laughing (as i pushed him and willow and aiden on the swings), and later, both his older sister and he were drawing with chalk on the basketball courts next to willow and aiden, excitedly sharing and expressing themselves... i was proud of willow and aiden (and had developed a new appreciation for the boy, someone whom i'd have previously written off); they are naturally friendly, sharing, but not blindly so.

they say love is blind.

but compassionate is not. if anything, it is extremely clear-sighted. you look at people, look through your judgments of them, and see what is needed. and you respond to that need...

funny. i work on a lot of different people all the time. i never need to think about judging them, etc. but then again, i'm in a somewhat clear context, providing a specific, more or less physical service. i don't have to "push" people to do things they don't understand... if i become a teacher, it will be different... i must be extremely clear-sighted and compassionate...