there were fragments of a dream. over all, it seemed a happy one. there was some posting or something put out by the mililani high school track/cross country team, and there were a few photos/videos with me in it (i ran track in my freshman year, cross country in my sophomore year, and quit - dramatically - from track in my sophomore year). some of them were absurd. like there was one where the entire team of runners was hooked up like horses to some roman chariot, and horace (our coach) was kind of whipping us all along... things like that. anyway, i decided to share some of this with my friends on facebook. only, i was somehow able to enter into their real lives to do this. i may have attempted to share this with people like clifton, but what i remember was visiting greg fastabend. for some reason, he was in the middle of college, perhaps into his sophomore year (whereas i had not started college yet, for some reason). i was giving him perspective- strange, because in the dream, i was the same age- something about how quick college went, and asked him questions about where he was going to in the future. he made some comments about how he was going to be some sort of engineer, and work with [blank] (i can't remember). anyway, i showed him the pictures/videos, and he smiled for a time. then he started to get some things together to give to me, a whole bunch of old robotics stuff, and a bandolier (sp?) of tiny computer cameras...
that was it.
i've been kind of mopey lately. not really working hard at anything. trying to fall asleep a lot of the time. i think i'm still recovering from my stupid illness last week at work, as well as just trying to keep up with the incredible complexities of my work... i'd like to write, secretly, but i want it to be on my terms- like this cute detective work sort of thing, where i keep various notebooks, and write things that can always be considered progress, no matter what- no writing complete dead ends, or dead prose, or anything... always on the up and up. happy thoughts.
i love my wife, but i am so pathetic at planning anything for her. it was her birthday yesterday. tonight, we took her swimming and then we ate hot pot. simple stuff, but she seemed happy. i told her, as she was half asleep, that i wanted to be with her forever... that she was my best friend... and she murmured in her sleep happily. i was telling the truth. i cannot conceive of life without her. she is - i don't know- the river that flows my life along. without it, without her, i would dry up and die.
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