i've been dragging... i admit it.
there have been so many shifts and changes at work. it's difficult to plan, or even get the motivation to plan, when everything could change with the next announcement from the governor.
our infection rate has been climbing. today we had the highest increase in covid infections yet (355). i know it doesn't sound that bad, compared to other states on the mainland. but we're a relatively small state. what's more, we are a relatively isolated state. at the outset, that was seen as an advantage (still is, or could be, actually), because it was more possible to keep cases out. but now, i see it as a disadvantage. it's kind of like being in a small room with an infected individual. there are less places to go, so the infection starts to overwhelm everyone in the room.
so far, about 4 of the wahiawa schools already have confirmed positive cases amongst the staff. i think our school is one of the only outliers. covid is definitely in the community, and from what the governor and lt governor have been saying, it is particularly prevalent among the pacific islander communities. wahiawa has a huge micronesian (chukese) population. i even went to visit a few of my students' chukese families yesterday: multigenerational households that are particularly prone to spread.
currently, our school is strongly leaning towards distance learning. i had thought that my students (students with ieps) were to be the exception, that is, they were the only ones to be allowed to receive instruction face to face. but it turns out that we were supposed to push for distance even in that population. the only exceptions were to be students for whom distance learning was almost impossible, due to attention or other sorts of issues...
i now have reduced my list to a few students. but with the news today, i feel less safe. i decided to deliver all instruction outside. i selected a place in the field near my classroom to teach when it is sunny (there is a perpetual shade there). if it rains, i will have my students sit out in the covered hallway. i know it will be awkward, but from what i hear, it is the safest measure to take. any indoor space, with limited ventilation, will only recirculate potentially infectious virus particles.
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at home, i have been mostly tired. i putz around in the garden a bit, and then waste time on fb and other stuff. i take restless naps. also yesterday, i had a lot of abdominal problems. a lot of pain. it was sort of a wasted day...
i tried to do the little tasks in my routine, but the stomach troubles made it pretty impossible. i HATE being held back by little health troubles like that.
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my mind is perpetually elsewhere, i find. i think it is largely due to the situation at work, but perhaps it is a general malaise. i'm not sure. at least i am not experiencing any undue self-persecution. i don't eat myself up from the inside. i suppose a part of me (or all of me) realizes that this is a shitty situation, and that i shouldn't blame anything on myself. i just need to keep steady through it.
i'm grateful for my family, for my friends. and, really, i mean really, things are not bad at all. in fact, i know i'm pretty spoiled, and that life is actually very easy. i suppose there's a dread that things could become so much worse, if they continue as they are.
in the general political front, trump has stated today that he is openly sabotaging the us postal system to prevent universal mail-in ballots from going through. and no one stops him. my friend ron, who has been trolling me on fb... i wonder what he would say now? i think, unfortunately, anyone who is still a trump supporter should just openly state that they are a racist, sexist f**k, and not pretend that there is any rationality or sense of logic or decency or justice about them. they have their heads up their ass. i'm sorry, i'm just so fed up with them. fed up with trump. fed up with the backwards slide into idiocy that is our country right now...
let's hope and pray that we vote him out. and then lock him up.
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