periodically, i need a new beginning.  so that's what this is- with the understanding that there's no such thing as a new beginning, and that the creditors will still be able to find your new address- eventually.

i am trying to stay on top of things in my life (as i have always been).  i'm resolving to read more, write more, draw more, master taijiquan, master teaching, master parenting, etc. etc. etc. (as i have always been).  so one might ask, what else is new?

... to which i have no response.

***

i think i have a pretty peaceful energy about me.  most of the time.  i appreciate that, when observers come to my room, they often comment on how peaceful it is.  or that one of the former skills trainers that used to work in my room periodically returns with her new student in order to have him use the clavinova.  and how she mentions that my voice is kind, and that the new student likes it (whether he actually does or not is subject to speculation).

there are things about oneself that require confirmation at times.  even if (or perhaps especially if) they aren't necessarily true.

within myself, i find that there is near constant turmoil.  as i get older, it is primarily a battle between my own inherent inertia, and a restless ambition.  and in the midst of the conflict is a kind of indecisive dissolution, pandered away by "easy projects" like playing diablo 3 or losing braincells on facebook.

i'm only getting older, i'm forgetting who i am day by day...

i at present don't feel or don't care so much about all the hatred around me.  i have my projects and dreams, and, when i'm able to pursue them truly, they are my armor and my shield.

***

well, hate to overstay my welcome.  i'll try to write regularly.  take care.