hi everyone/no one. as you can see, i have deleted all of my old postings. i think that it is good to do this periodically, if only to pretend a new beginning, a departure.

(we never escape ourselves, of course; that is our strength and our curse.)

i just accepted a special education position at a local school yesterday. i am excited/anxious about it, as it will be my first formal teaching job at the elementary level. please pray for me, and for my kids!!!


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i've wondered, of late, why i keep a blog, and why anyone would visit it. at one point, i think there were quite a few visits, but i think things have dropped off due to inconsistent posting and (to be quite honest) boring content. part of the problem (if there is a problem) is that i tend to be interested in several things at once, at varying levels. sometimes i post things that only specialists would be interested in (especially my postings dealing with some of my musings in acupuncture, or special education); sometimes i post my (admittedly amateurish) attempts at writing, drawing, or "music"; and sometimes i post the details of my drab life, or my suburban, middle-class concerns, or even my idiosyncratic dreams... well, as i stated at the outset of my blogging three years ago, the blog serves more the interests of the blogger than it does anyone else. this truly is "a receptacle" for some of the goings-on and (absent) happenings of my life.

reader beware!!! (or, be bored, and then be gone).

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currently, i am sick (yet again). this cold has (like its predecessors) gradually eaten its way into my chest, where it sits heavy...

my son is also sick, in his own fashion. periodically, he suffers from strange headaches/fevers that do not progress into illnesses in the conventional way (i.e., no nose and throat issues, no mucus). they last perhaps one or two days, and then disappear without a trace. what is interesting is that, oftentimes immediately after the resolution of a particular fever phase, my son becomes effusive and far more articulate (at least to me) than he was previously. i have theorized that these fevers signal growth spurts for his emerging cognition...

perhaps this suspicion is, in part, related to my readings into "visionary craniosacral therapy," notably the insight that the pituitary gland generates a significant amount of heat, and that certain structures in the cranium are designed to disperse that heat...

i have, in my own bumbling way, been attempting to palpate the "wave" of cerebrospinal fluid that is said to pulsate through the body as my son sleeps, in order to somehow understand (and perhaps influence) some of his cognitive fixations and blockages... just the desperation of a father, i suppose.

i have been falling asleep early, and then waking up in a daze in the wee morning hours to walk over to my son's room, meditate, and then attempt to palpate his head (i know, i know, WEIRD). my son is a very restless sleeper, and i have to keep modifying my touch to adjust to his repeated shifts in posture. eventually, he seems to settle, his breathing deepening, and i am able to (for a time) entrain to his rhythm. i detect different rhythms, from the ripples of his blood pulsing to the slightly larger waves of his breathing, and then, to something larger, something akin to the tides influenced by the moon. this, i suspect, is the craniosacral rhythm... if i practice, i think i will be able to feel it more reliably, and then understand or detect any aberrations in that rhythm... that's the (desperate) hope, anyway.

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