Thursday, June 12, 2008

sad: awareness of mortality

willow was going over the months of the year.

willow: daddy, after december is it january again?
me: yeah. it starts all over again. january february march...
willow (after thinking for a moment): it keeps going on and on forever and ever. even after i die, it will keep going, yeah daddy?

it's strange, how matter-of-fact she is about her own death. i don't think i really thought about death until- well, maybe a couple of decades into life! i think willow's born mature in some concepts- like to be aware of the fact that the world goes on without you, that requires a certain objectivity, a distancing from your own personal perspective... aside from the cognitive capacity required, i think most people (myself) would feel- i don't know- self-pity? attachment? at the fact that the world would go on without me...

i know one thing.

my world will NOT go on without her.

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