Deadlines suck. Especially when you only realize what they are after the fact. Like you are post mortem...
The Advertiser's deadline for the Holiday fiction thingie was November 30th. November 30th! Damn, I wasn't even finished digesting Thanksgiving dinner... Oh well...
I have a plan. Willow is getting really great at drawing. She is creative in depicting whatever she imagines, but more than that, her drawings reflect her exuberant, happy spirit... I think I will collaberate with her, have her make illustrations for the children's stories I write... Starting with the Cactus thingie... Maybe it's the caffeine I recently drank, but maybe I could write a few more holiday stories, and put everything together into a nice little book... And (late as it is) I could distribute them to anyone interested... Maybe eventually even sell them... Hee hee hee... Yeah, yeah...
I was brainstorming ideas for "holiday stories." Not those "feel good" stories, or at least, not on purpose. I don't mean to be irreverent, but honestly, the straight and narrow's pretty boring, don't you think? You need to put in that little ironic twist... like a chili pepper squeezed in your iced water...
IDEA ONE: "Made in China." I don't know... I'd like to write something about this stupid toy recall situation... See, here's the story... the true story. We (Lynn, Willow, Aiden, and reluctant me) were blitzing through the shopping list, trying to get gifts for EVERYONE. And it was like 11:00 pm, and we were aimlessly wandering Toys 'R Us aisles like zombies... Willow complained, said she was tired, and then I chimed in: "Yeah, I'm tired too... But we have to keep going until Mommy finds something..." Bad move on my part. As Lynn described it (subsequently, when there was at least the possibility of seeing humor in the situation), it was "like one of your stupid anime shows. My face was like - [inarticulate sound, meant to be like some kind of rainstorm]. I was about to murder you." And then, Lynn slammed her forearms on the shopping cart, and got in my face, and screamed, "WE'RE LOOKING FOR LANDEN'S [my brother's son's] PRESENT. FOR YOU. FIND IT YOURSELF!!!" So, sheepishly, I started wandering the aisles some more, only this time, my hands would occasionally pick up a box and then shuffle it back on the shelf again... See, the problem was, Dean and Jani told us specifically that Landen would not accept any gift MADE IN CHINA... Well, if you haven't noticed, if a present looks pretty cool, AND it is reasonably priced, well, you can bet that it is MADE IN CHINA... Shoddy workmanship and grossly inflated prices are the outstanding qualities of Made in the USA stuff; they proudly bear the label next to the unbelievable price tag... Long story short, we eventually found something, a computer program... Gotta write something about this...
IDEA TWO: "Care Package." Other working title, "I'll be home for Christmas..." This story will be about the lonely dilemma of staying on campus (Williamstown, Mass, in the hinterlands, on the steppes, just a slight exaggeration away from Siberia), and the comical mishaps (yay) that take place when one student (from Hawaii) receives a care package from Hawaii, and another student (from Hawaii) attempts to "get into" the first student's package...
IDEA THREE: "Letters from the village of cranes." Intended to be a more "spiritual" story... Ostensibly, the protagonist is in Tsuruimura for the purpose of gaining enlightenment, studying under a Buddhist priest... But as his letters reveal, and perhaps exacerbate, he is suffering from intense loneliness, and paradoxically confesses his heart to someone, a friend, in Hawaii, whom he could never "connect" with in person... A cat, Debu (which means Fat) occasionally wanders in and out of his life in the winter shrouded temple. Sometimes he walks over to the fields of Kushiro and watches the red-capped cranes, glumly wondering what they've got to be so f-ing happy about. The despair of being "hetakuso," and feeling as spiritual as a doorknob. Basically, an encapsulation of "someone's" time in Japan, during a harsh winter...
IDEA FOUR: Some children's story about a Gingerbread man who is sick and tired of having his domicile eaten by hungry children who haven't the slightest interest or talent for home-making... a Gingerbread man who decides to replace all the candy and icing with some more decidedly unpalatable stuff... Haven't worked out the plot, or the ironic (happy?) ending yet... [BTW: Willow and Aiden just recently made their gingerbread houses... On Sunday... Pretty nifty.]
... Well, that's all I've got... Unfortunately, with clinic, and treatments, and everything else, don't know if I can hack it... Got to finish it at least by next week...
GODS. I HATE DEADLINES...
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