at one point in this dream, there was this lame-o party. if it can even be called such. some stupid music playing on someone's shitty radio. and i'm just wandering around alone amidst people- mostly grungy white boys with untamed beards (i think of spin doctors lead singer types, with those weird jester-type yarn hats- and when i say white boys, i'm not being racist; that literally was the primary demographic at my college). there are hardly any women. there is the feeling of abandonment, of chronic lameness. a party is supposed to be escapist, an amnesia of sorts, but this is just a repetition of a trap. so i'm just walking back and forth- it seems we are on the first floor, so it's possible to go outside. i recall looking up at some second floor dorm window, and it seems i see the silhouette of a couple having sex. dim outline through white plastic sheets... but there is no one here. no one i am interested in, no one who would be interested in me. then there is this black girl who i see every now and then, but who i just don't even register (in the dream) as anything significant, who somehow makes a comment about some bracelet i'm wearing (bracelet?) and suddenly, yes, i am wearing this weird bracelet with fishnet and cardboard tubing, and i'm wondering when/where/why i have it on. and my project for the next however long is to try to remove it. it's only afterwards (maybe even into waking) that i have this thought that maybe that girl had come down to talk to me- in fact, maybe she placed it on me (because i seem to recall that she had worn something similar) - maybe she placed it on me when i was sleeping/drunk. and i am suddenly left with this feeling that if i weren't so down on myself and my environment then i might have just talked to her or something. i guess i always bemoaned the fact that i was alone in a lonely world, when there may have been other eyes and other minds wandering the wasteland as well... and that we might have transformed everything if we'd only talked with each other... but.
also something about food. about making only one type of food. and laying it out on the shingles of a slanted roof to dry off in the moonlight???
anyways. i woke up with my mouth super dry. almost like waking up with a hangover, dehydrated... my eyes felt as though they had burnt pathways on the underside of my eyelids, after having grinded so much.
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