i spoke to my sister this afternoon.  it's become a regular ritual for us, this weekly communicae (sp.).  she tells me about her life, i tell her about mine.  i try to slip in almost subliminal hints about where i stand on things, without actually being confrontational.  here is my stance, to wit: i believe in her right to pursue happiness, whether it's with a woman or a man, it really doesn't matter to me.  however, if my sister wants my parents to help her in any way, then she must abide by their rules, even if this runs counter to her desires.  in fact, in a deeper sense, although i, again, believe in her right to pursue happiness, i think that:

1) her idea of "happiness" is often inauthentic, in that it ignores what, for me, would be most fundamental: reconnection with her own children.  for me, i can honestly say that any "relations" would be secondary to the objective of reuniting with my own kids.  i think that the pursuit of relations after establishing that connection would be fine, but until that happened, i think it would be- i don't know how best to put it- ass backwards to go after someone...

2) as i may have mentioned earlier, i believe it is this very pursuit of happiness that is so problematic.  happiness, when it is an escape from responsibility and moral obligation, can only do harm.  what's more, as my sister often forms relations with people who are in similarly dire straits, well, the odds are stacked doubly so against the relationship being stable, and against either party retaining their stance (inevitably one pulls the other down, cheats on, lies, etc.).  people are not themselves unless they have their feet solidly planted on the ground...

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