i felt tired and somewhat overwhelmed this afternoon/evening... when i get this way, the best thing is to go with it, and get some rest. i usually regroup in the wee hours of the morning (or i try to), and have either an action plan to address my worries, or some platitude/philosophical outlook to help me accept circumstances...

we are living in hard times. i am an insular individual, but in my heart, i try to reach out and help others. oftentimes, i feel ineffectual to change the circumstances around me, but i believe in the effort, the constant unrelenting effort. i take some small comfort in hearing the words of people actively engaged in helping others. this afternoon, on this npr show called "human kind" (i think), there was a segment about some guy who has been involved in helping out his community (sorry, can't be more specific). he mentioned something i thought was so true: "you can't keep people from doing wrong, and you can't make people do right." on the one hand, this can be a statement of despair. you essentially can't change anything substantial in the world. but he continued by saying that "you just have to continue spreading the seeds..."

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i am thinking of ways to help some of the students i worked with today... my mentor teacher is excellent, btw; very systematic, very caring... i hope i can fulfill my duties as effectively...

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i had an idea to start selling my book, and having the proceeds go to various charities/events, perhaps by month, but 1) i think it would be perceived as self aggrandizement, and 2) nobody buys it anyway... but if i could, it would give me a way to monetarily contribute to some of the things/people i believe in. example, shari tamashiro's chimagukuru (sp?) event, coming up in october... or mililani ike's fundraising shortfalls...