i made a lot of resolutions for this new year, but it seems like illness (repeated!!! i must have had three consecutive colds this year alone!) and the stress of school and work have conspired to set me aback. i've still some fight left in me, but there's a side that more and more feels it's perhaps more expedient to "go with the flow" of things.
writing has taken a back seat. although i do want to participate in reviewfuse.com, a website that allows you to get/give feedback to/from aspiring writers like yourself, i haven't made a submission yet. and although i would like to start using applied behavioral analysis to "guilt"/coerce myself to write a consistent amount (say five pages every night), hell, i haven't gotten that started yet...
there are always so many other things.
for one thing, as a parent, i have to set educational goals for my kids. i bought an interactive globe, for one thing, in an effort to teach them geography (it's fun! i probably fiddle with it more than the kids). i bought kidpix for the mac to encourage the kids (mainly willow) to interact and produce using the computer. i want to get this program that allows the kids (again, mainly willow) to create animation; in conjunction with this, i would like to get her a drawing pad, so that she can better interface with the computer...
i've been working on aiden the best that i can. i've been repeatedly drilling counting to 30 (for some reason, he sometimes still skips 15... but he's done it correctly for a few times now); his phonics; and training him to hold his pencil/spoon/fork correctly. it's best to use a gentle approach with aiden. while willow is largely self-motivated, and gets upset primarily because she feels it an impingement on her independence to be told/instructed how to do something, aiden is largely UNmotivated, and will gladly languish in his collective inabilities, unless he is somehow convinced that he WANTS to do it. i've had to be really patient and positive, and connect with aiden in a more loving, supportive way. i've actually enjoyed interacting with him this way, it's far more relaxing, far less "driven." and lo and behold, he seems to thrive. he actually wants to do violin with me, for example, and every now and then, he will try to SHOW me that he knows his phonics, or can count to 30. he's awesome...
i just received the anatomy trains dvds today. i can't wait to learn this stuff in a more visceral fashion. i have been wrestling with anatomy trains concepts when working on my patients... while i have had some success, in large part, i feel i have reached an impasse/plateau. if i can get "structure" down, it will allow me to deal with a major contributor to most of the problems i see in my patients. after that, i will deal with the far more nebulous subject of "energy" and physiology...
one of my patients mentioned something about this secret practice of re-setting nerves. i've heard about "miraculous" and legendary practitioners who could do this; by means of re-setting nerves, the muscles innervated would spontaneously relax... sounds strange, but i would like to learn this skill as well. hell, throw in zheng gu (bonesetting) while i'm at it.
sounds weird, but i'm also trying to get at the topic of "energy" through various means. there is the "perception" of energy, literally, seeing energy; and there is the "feeling" of energy... qi/ki/energy is a confusing topic. semantically, it could be that the energy referred to by one person is very different from that referred to by another... is the qi of martial arts, the same as the qi in healing/acupuncture? does qi even really exist?
here's my current path of exploration. i'm trying to do some aura exercises (hokey as this may sound). i'm also trying to do more pile standing, to experience this magic "click" into proper structure and grounding, and from there, to the experience of the mythic "pulse of life" (this is largely from vandersloot's book). sure, i may be wasting my time... but i would like to verify "energy" viscerally, instead of always speaking of it in more or less abstract ways...
well, enough bs for tonight...
who reads this crap anyway?
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