i had a sarcastic thought today... something about how teaching is like a disease. and good teachers are highly communicable. bad teachers have their disease-knowledge cooped up inside of them, and they pretend like they're all deadly, but nobody can "catch" them... i aspire to be so virulent, that they'll name me after a plague... like "typhoid randy."
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i am sick. AGAIN. i thought i was over the recent wave of disease, but i guess it was not one wave, but two. the kids have been sneezing snot all over the place, but i thought that was all something i'd built immunity to, so i didn't hesitate to remain up close to wipe their noses, etc... now i am feeling really wasted, and my head is starting to feel like a clogged up drain pipe. bummer bummer bummer.
i just got home, but the wife and kids are out, apparently getting dinner. which is fine, because all i feel like doing right now is crashing...
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it has been a rough week (for me): the imovie project that rumi (my mentor/cooperating teacher) and i have been doing has been progressing, albeit with a few technical (technological) glitches... i've really enjoyed working with the kids this week, largely because i can sense that they're really excited about their projects. technology, and particularly "cool" technology like making imovies, i think it really motivates kids... tuesday was my observed lesson, which went well. it was my final lesson for the semester, and my observer was really impressed and commented about how well rumi and i seemed to work together. i agreed. it really has been a great experience for me, and i'll admit that i'll be a bit sad when the semester ends in a couple of weeks (i could end earlier, but i want to see the imovie project through)... wednesday, aside from clinic (and all the guilt i feel for not "systematizing" the clinic experience as i'd long ago promised), i had (along with two other students) a powerpoint presentation on language arts teaching strategies. ultimately, i think we did really well, although, to be honest, some of the other groups seemed much more coordinated in their presentations... and that brings us to today.
this morning, aiden had his children's house christmas program. aiden was a cow. although he was really cute, i have to say that i was a bit disappointed that he wasn't singing any songs, or following the gestures of the remainder of the class... it concerns me that he perhaps isn't maintaining the basic focus needed to pick up on what the rest of the class is learning... in many respects, aiden is "behind" willow. with willow, it was easy. i would feel concern over some aspect of her development, and it would seem like she would read my mind, and work to improve herself (tying her shoes, writing, reading). with aiden, interventions have to be explicit, and at times, forced. it kinda still shocks me that he still hasn't mastered his pencil grip, or that he has difficulty with phonics. now, when i see him every day (and i'm making a point to do this every day), i drill him on his phonics, i drill him on writing his letters (and maintaining proper pencil grip), and i try to have him count to twenty (something always gets lost between 14 and 16). today's performance kinda gave me the sinking realization that he might be behind in other respects as well...
...but ultimately, i love my son fully and unconditionally. i think about children who suffer from severe developmental problems. there is, i recall, a form of autism called progressive degenerative disorder; i believe, if i'm not mistaken, that it afflicts girls, and that there is a rapid, inexplicable loss of several capabilities, from language, to motor skills, to, eventually, breathing. such children don't live very long. i think about parents of such children. how are they to approach their child? for most parents of "normal" children, there is such a drive to achieve that they often lose sight of the fact that a child is a rare and precious thing... and that we have to cherish and love our children, and try to make life as wonderful an experience as possible...
i want to be the kind of parent that loves unconditionally.
there is a parent who happens to live nearby, and boasted that she was sending her child to punahou, because she didn't want her child to associate with the "mediocre kids." i HATE this kind of thinking. i mean, sure, it's one thing to want the best for your children, but to couch things in those terms, to constantly think of your child as being "better" than others... it likely becomes problematic, not for those (like me) who feel dissed, but predominantly for the child him/herself: put on a pedestal, unable to relate to the "mediocre" world...
i think about the realization such a parent would have to come to terms with if her child were diagnosed with "progressive degenerative disorder" or something...
so i guess... i want aiden to be the best he can be, but more than that, i want him to always feel like, no matter what he is or accomplishes, he is the "best," he is unconditionally loved...
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