dream: 8/29/2022

nothing long today (as i don't have time).

ever had a dream where you are feeling quiet despair because you know you have already failed, and are not taking steps to address the problem? that's what happened to me last night. i was apparently taking a few courses, but the ones that were sticking into my side were a calculus test, and another unidentified written test. i believe the calculus test had some sort of time deadline (11:00?) that was already past. i recall thinking that i'd done part of it, but for some reason, i wasn't actively completing it. and the other written thing, well, that was an additional coffin sealer... anyway, i was at some random lot in the middle of nowhere. i apparently had acquired some ownership rights to the lot, and was thinking about how to dig a massive hole in it. i thought it wouldn't be good to dig it too close to the entrance to the lot, or cars driving into it would immediately fall in. i dug up a little of it (it was sandy and full of worn out asphalt), and had a thought of bringing what i had dug up to the grow beds at home, where i could use it as "garden soil." but that was it...

when i woke up, i had to convince myself that i didn't have those double deadlines looming over me... the liberation kind of buoyed my spirits a bit, even though there was (IS) a lot of work i have to do in preparation for school this morning.

just as a bit of context, we dropped off aiden last night at my sister's place, where he will be staying as he takes courses over at uh manoa. it was a bit sad, a bit exciting. from here on out, the house will be that much emptier during the week (he still plans to come home during the weekends)...

OH YES. i did see someone when we walked over in kaimuki to get dinner. i recall her name right now, but in the moment, i couldn't. in fact, when i saw her, i almost didn't recognize her, and didn't call out to her. i feel guilty for that. i am thinking of seeking her out if she's still there. there are some people who are incredibly kind and giving, and yet may be in desperate need. i feel it's my obligation to reach out and provide some kind of assistance...

dream: 8/14/2022

there were several fragments to this dream. initially, we seemed to be in this house or restaurant. it was a group of workers, eating or meeting together, teachers from my new school. the spirit was at first jovial. then one of the teachers offered to cut people's hair for a low price ($11 and some change). everyone was joking around, until one of the spouses of the teachers saw a little fragment of a bang on the front of his head... and when everyone imagined what it would look like if it were symmetrical (since only one side was cut at the time), this man suddenly became irate. he threw down his money, and mentioned something about it being the worst $11 he'd ever spent, and then he tried to get out of the place.

the "place," by the way, suddenly transformed into this large almost palatial building, filled with large, red curtained ballrooms, and connected by wide staircases. in the ballrooms were a series of almost animatronic entertainment, featuring vignettes from the beatles and other shows. in fact, there was a kind of pattern to things: 2 mini rooms devoted to beatles in laser holograph animated style, 2 rooms devoted to something else, etc... in any case, it seemed as though everything was closing (maybe the catalyst was that irate spouse), and there were workers shutting it all down. they were even rolling up the staircases, or at least putting some kind of pink plastic sheet over them- i almost got caught beneath one of them, the workers were so eager to leave...

i'm not sure when, but at some point i was trying to get from one building (the one we were in) to an adjacent building (the dormitories). supposedly, the way i was supposed to go involved getting on this plastic ladder that was suspended from one narrow window in this building to a window in the dormitory. in between, it was suspended i don't know how many stories above the ground between the buildings. on this side, the ladder was at the top of a heap of plastic storage bins, so it didn't inspire confidence in terms of being secure. the other issue was- strangely- that i could change the angle of the building just by putting my weight on the floor... in any case, despite people saying that this was the only way to the dorm, i opted to go the normal way- find the ground level and walk across...

on the way- here, i started getting tenrikyo vibes- i realized that, despite my feelings of exhaustion, that i needed to "grin and bear it"- and i remembered feeling/thinking this as i walked up some stairs over red carpet- that i had to be some kind of role model, simply in order to get through this ordeal... in any case, i eventually reached the dormitories, and to my room, meeting a couple of the dorm workers on the ground office, one of whom looked awfully familiar from my tenrikyo days (he was a somewhat awkward guy whom i'd initially considered my senior, but who- it turns out- examined my academic and spiritual path, and tried to copy it- perhaps imagining that i'd found some kind of "answer" to life that he desperately needed...). there was some comment from the dorm workers- which at the moment eludes me- and then... i don't remember.

odd dream...

in any case, i woke (or worked out) an insight into the story i'm writing... something about how two people are falling asleep, and want to share the same dream, so they hold hands. but this is a fantasy. they actually end up dreaming of other people, significant people in their own separate lives.